I might be able to figure something out, if I could gain some perspective, but I had a feeling that the solution was going to take me WAY off the societally approved path. That's pretty terrifying, when everyone you know belongs to a society with the same values. But I kept thinking of all the vacations I'd never taken, the trips I'd skipped, the adventures I'd never had, the fact that I had $12,000 more in debt than I did when I moved here (student loans), and nothing to show for it. I looked around and saw people I loved wishing they could do things they love, but who were too busy trading their time for money, so they could hand over that money to someone else for the privilege of living The American Dream.
And slowly, a little, tiny, inkling of a plan began to form. I remembered a group of great people, who knew pretty much everything about really living, that I'd encountered in 2012. And I looked them up again, and got more information, and refreshed my memory, and asked some pertinent questions. Initially, my plan was totally half-baked. Surrounded by National Forest here, I would "disperse camp" on public land, save my rent and utility money, and by October 2016, I would have a good chunk of change for a downpayment. On a mortgage. That would tie me to a job that tortures me, all the days of my life, or until that job decided they didn't need me anymore, and the person to whom I'd been handing over all my earnings took my property, and until, once again, I had absolutely nothing, and had to start all. freaking. over. again. Or death.
Someone mentioned camp hosting... I had considered it before, but that would mean quitting a full-time job, and hitting the road. REALLY taking a risk. Requiring bravery with which little ol' me wasn't acquainted. So I applied anyway. Just to see what would happen. After all, didn't I vow to do more brave things this year?
And then it was time for my next three days of 12 hour shifts at a job that tortured me.
And it was an awful day. My own fault. My attitude sucked. I needed more days to figure out what to do, instead of being trapped at work. I wanted to give 30 days notice, to coincide with the 30 days I'd have to move off my property. But, who gives up a secure job?! Crazy people! Everyone would know I was insane! I even thought how nice it would be if my boss would just lay me off so that it wouldn't be MY fault that I was jobless (Let me just mention for the record, that my boss and her husband are the most wonderful people on the planet, and my miserable attitude is in NO way caused by them. They are amazing, kind, beautiful people). So, I didn't give notice. Because everyone knows you don't quit a job before you have another one to take its place. But I mentioned to my boss that I had applied for a camp host job in California. Now, all year long I have mentioned lots of jobs to which I have applied. They have the business and property up for sale, and it's pretty much agreed that we're all keeping an eye out for our "next thing" just in case the new buyers don't want the business, or the staff, so it wasn't an unusual thing for me to tell her. The long day ended, and I went home for another sleepless night.
And then it was time for my next three days of 12 hour shifts at a job that tortured me.
And it was an awful day. My own fault. My attitude sucked. I needed more days to figure out what to do, instead of being trapped at work. I wanted to give 30 days notice, to coincide with the 30 days I'd have to move off my property. But, who gives up a secure job?! Crazy people! Everyone would know I was insane! I even thought how nice it would be if my boss would just lay me off so that it wouldn't be MY fault that I was jobless (Let me just mention for the record, that my boss and her husband are the most wonderful people on the planet, and my miserable attitude is in NO way caused by them. They are amazing, kind, beautiful people). So, I didn't give notice. Because everyone knows you don't quit a job before you have another one to take its place. But I mentioned to my boss that I had applied for a camp host job in California. Now, all year long I have mentioned lots of jobs to which I have applied. They have the business and property up for sale, and it's pretty much agreed that we're all keeping an eye out for our "next thing" just in case the new buyers don't want the business, or the staff, so it wasn't an unusual thing for me to tell her. The long day ended, and I went home for another sleepless night.
When I returned the next morning, my boss and her husband were sitting in their living room and asked me to join them. Boss lady said, "So, we were just talking about what we should do, since you've applied for another job, and we think we should start looking for your replacement."
To be continued...
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